I forgot....

~ Dublin Dr. Pepper
~ Chris Cornell
~ Cherry Garcia
~ David Tennant

These are a few of my favorite things.

In the spirit of actually trying to post more often (and not under the influence of my favorite allergy medication), I will now compile a list of things that I love enough to lick. In no particular order, I give you my list of  'Holy teen mother Mary that is wonderful!':

~ Karaoke.
~ Southern style chocolate biscuits
~ Playboy
~ A good dick or fart joke
~ The look I used to get when people saw that a scrawny white girl could Krunk
~ Jazz music
~ Spelunking
~ The Flying Saucer beer tastings (I WILL be on that wall someday!)
~ Dogs doing human like things
~ Crazy rich people sharing their crazy with the rest of the world (see Camila Grammer. Love that crazy skinny bish. I want to be her friend. She seems like fun!)
~ Schooling hipsters
~ Spending an entire evening doing different accents and dialects with my husband.
~ Harry Potter
~ Anias Nin
~ The Golden Girls
~ Live concerts
~ Banana Chips
~ The Far Side
~ My friends in the computer
~ Pole dancing classes
~ UT (both UTexas Austin and UTennessee Knoxville) Football. Coinkydink that I look amazeballs in their
    colors? I think not.
~ Jen Lancaster (I love her. I am convinced we could be besties, and have sleepovers with Ann Coulter,
     braid each others hair, and prank call Michelle Malckin (in case she is reading, Did you see what I did
     there Jen?  Call me!), and try on each other's pearls.)
~ Trashy television
~ 'Dangerous Breed' dogs (proud owner and foster parent of over ten rotties and seven pitbulls over the
    years. Don't punish the dog, punish the shit for brains owners!)
~ The 'Uppity Women' History books
~ Community compiled, fundraiser recipe books
~ Mad Men
~ A good margarita
~ Tall, goofy looking blonde boys
~ Sour grapes
~ Erotica novels
~ Painting
~ Burlesque. But real burlesque. Not that shit Cher made the movie about.
~ Google stalking. Because how else would I know how many ex boyfriends are now gay?
~ New York City
~ High school football
~ Singing showtunes
~ Shooting
~ Dr. Who
~ Shel Silverstien
~ Benjamin Franklin
~ Kevin Smith
~ Men in uniform
~ Drunk emailing
~ Singing and dancing in the car
~ Taking meals to people from my church that just had a baby.
~ Yoga
~ Calvin and Hobbes
~ Western riding
~ Miranda Lambert
~ 'The best of' Craigslist
~ Inventing new nicknames for vaginas
~ Talking to people
~ Bartending
~ A good beer
~ Ayn Rand
~ Coffee
~ Texas cliche themed stuff

Hope you have all enjoyed this list of random crap I find amazing! Shalom, Bitches!

It is good to be back!

Hooray! After a several month absence, things around Casa De Wild Child are finally getting back to normal.  Darling Husband has recently started his new gig as a police dispatcher, The Holidays are behind us, and I have found my juicer, just in time for the new year! 
While this may not seem very exciting to you, I must add that I live in Bum's Hollow*, Texas. So for me, any good news is big news. There is nothing much around here to get excited about. Mostly just spoiled rich girls looking to bag themselves a Bear. And while watching THAT train wreck (really girls? I am as old school, want to be a housewife as you can be, but even I made sure to take advantage of my college education. Boys worth marrying want a girl that doesn't try so hard. Look at soon to be Princess Kate!), can be slightly amusing, it does get old after the fifth or so one. So one must find amusement where there is none.
That is all I have to say for now, other than I am planning to actually start posting more than once every few months this year. So if anyone reads this, I would like to wish them the very merriest of New Years!

*Bum's Hollow is not a real town. But I don't have anything much nice to say about the town we live in, and would prefer not to have a bunch rabids after me, so it shall be the false name of my town!

Harder than I thought it would be

I haven't had much time to post anything. It seems my idea to work hard on finding some balance between being a mother and a spouse and being a real life human with a life must have struck a chord with my husband. I say that because just as my quest was starting, it was put on hold. Ben decided that he wanted to go back to what makes him happiest. So he decided, for us, to begin interveiwing and testing to go back into police road work. If you have never been through this fun fun fun experience, let me tell you it is kind of all consuming. Not just for the one applying. He may be the one testing, but Severus has lost most of his time with his dad, and I don't feel like I have a husband. He is more like a roommate that expects me to make him meals, wash his clothes, and clean his things while he was here sleeping.

On top of this, Ben had decided that this would be the year we have an actual ceremony and reception and renew our vows. But since he is sooo busy with all these PD's, he has no time to plan anything,. So that has fallen to me as well. Because, it isn't like I have anything better to do. I am not at all busy. Nope.

So, this will have to be continued later. I am guessing when I am 80.

The downward spiral into sweatpants.

Hello again! I suppose the best way to get started is to begin at the beginning. Let me introduce someone. See this Girl?

Well, this overly dramatic, stunningly beautiful (Hey, it is my blog. I can be as delusional as I want to. And I really, really want to.), girl with the over the top hued hair is me. I'm Nicki.

Or at least that was me, back in 2004. Those were the days. I was 23, independent, thin, and busy. Recently out of college, I had just begun my career as a vet tech for a local animal shelter, and I was worked as a cocktail waitress at night. In my free time I took dance classes, and performed Burlesque with a small troupe in my city. I had a large group of friends, and any given night I could be found just about anywhere. There was not much I wouldn't try at least once. I was 'that' girl. The one that when you asked what she did over the weekend, and she told you, you would ask her "when did you sleep?".

I was awesome.

But then, I met my husband. We fell in love, got married, and I moved to the town he lived in. A town where fun comes to DIE. Almost immediately, we found out that I was pregnant. The child that came shortly after, on top of a whole lot of time staring at the walls in our home, have turned me into this big stack of crazy:

(Yup, that's me. Playing the recorder, covered in marker, and wearing my husbands boots. It amuses the kid, and he is the boss. So you better believe this monkey dances.)

So now you see my dilemma. How does a woman with no life outside of her family, living in the least fun place in America, go from lonely crazy lady, to, well... I would at least like to be moderately interesting? This is the question I will try to answer with this blog. I will be chronicling my pursuit to be a much cooler version of the person I am today.

I feel the need to add the disclaimer that although this blog is about me, sometimes I will talk about my family. Because let's face it. Without my family, I would not be the hot white mess that I am. So even though this isn't going to be an "OMG! I AM A MOMBIE! I FEED OFF OF PEOPLE TELLING ME MY CHILD IS CUTE AND I DESERVE TO TO HAVE MY NINE AM GLASS OF WINE! VALIDATE ME DAMNIT!!!!", you will occasionally hear about the comings and goings of Husband, or Little Dude, or the cats, or whatever foster animal is staying with us at the time. You may thank me for this later. This family is full of unintentional comedic moments.

So, I think that is it for now. I have to go force pills down the foster puppies throats. hopefully it will help them look a bit less like burn victims. Have a good weekend!

Mr. Brain, please stop poking my eyeball.

I have been unable to really sit down and write out what I wanted to put on here yet. You see, I have had a headache for about a week now. My theory is that the knot on the base of my skull is pushing my brain. Mr. Brain does not like to be pushed around. He kind of has a god complex (Oooh look at me! I can make you feel all itchy when you are stressed out! Try to sleep through that! Mwahahaha!), and the slightest little things tick him off. So, to make himself feel tough, my brain has taken to poking my right eyeball in the back, the big bully. And Mr. Brain has very pokey, um... pokers. So I am not feeling that great.

If I was smart, I would go and get a massage to loosen up the knot, and make Mr. Brain happy again. But, I am not smart, and we are on the Dave Ramsey total money makeover, so massage is not an option. Hopefully, in the next day or two, I can do something about my head, and get into what this blog will really be about. But until then, I thought I would share a picture of one of my favorite things, which in a sense kind of IS what I want this blog to be about, so enjoy. 

Dublin Dr. Pepper

mmmmmm.....

Getting Started...

Have you ever had a moment when an obvious realization that you have been desperately trying to avoid hits you straight between the eyes? Well, last week it happened to me. I was getting ready for bed, when suddenly it hit me. I have gotten really REALLY boring. And fat!!! When the hell did that happen?!

As the only human being I speak to over the age of two, I bombarded my husband with these questions.
Looking shell shocked at my sudden interrogation, he answered, "I don't know. But I don't think you are fat. Or boring! I think you are pretty and fun! Please stop asking me these questions! Why are you looking at me like that?! It scares me when your eyes get all googly like that!" (I suppose I should tell you now that my 'passion' sometimes 'overwhelms' my husband (and what I call passion, he would call insanity, and what he calls overwhelmed, I called frightened).)

Soooo, I came to a conclusion. Starting now, I am going to do things that do not involve toddlers or husbands. But first, I have got to shrink this enormous growth called my ass. I am hoping to use this blog as my motivation. My accountability, if you will. 
Well, that is it for now, because honestly, I have no clue what to write here. Maybe tonight I can think of something, and I will hit back tomorrow.
Thanks for listening!