The downward spiral into sweatpants.

Hello again! I suppose the best way to get started is to begin at the beginning. Let me introduce someone. See this Girl?

Well, this overly dramatic, stunningly beautiful (Hey, it is my blog. I can be as delusional as I want to. And I really, really want to.), girl with the over the top hued hair is me. I'm Nicki.

Or at least that was me, back in 2004. Those were the days. I was 23, independent, thin, and busy. Recently out of college, I had just begun my career as a vet tech for a local animal shelter, and I was worked as a cocktail waitress at night. In my free time I took dance classes, and performed Burlesque with a small troupe in my city. I had a large group of friends, and any given night I could be found just about anywhere. There was not much I wouldn't try at least once. I was 'that' girl. The one that when you asked what she did over the weekend, and she told you, you would ask her "when did you sleep?".

I was awesome.

But then, I met my husband. We fell in love, got married, and I moved to the town he lived in. A town where fun comes to DIE. Almost immediately, we found out that I was pregnant. The child that came shortly after, on top of a whole lot of time staring at the walls in our home, have turned me into this big stack of crazy:

(Yup, that's me. Playing the recorder, covered in marker, and wearing my husbands boots. It amuses the kid, and he is the boss. So you better believe this monkey dances.)

So now you see my dilemma. How does a woman with no life outside of her family, living in the least fun place in America, go from lonely crazy lady, to, well... I would at least like to be moderately interesting? This is the question I will try to answer with this blog. I will be chronicling my pursuit to be a much cooler version of the person I am today.

I feel the need to add the disclaimer that although this blog is about me, sometimes I will talk about my family. Because let's face it. Without my family, I would not be the hot white mess that I am. So even though this isn't going to be an "OMG! I AM A MOMBIE! I FEED OFF OF PEOPLE TELLING ME MY CHILD IS CUTE AND I DESERVE TO TO HAVE MY NINE AM GLASS OF WINE! VALIDATE ME DAMNIT!!!!", you will occasionally hear about the comings and goings of Husband, or Little Dude, or the cats, or whatever foster animal is staying with us at the time. You may thank me for this later. This family is full of unintentional comedic moments.

So, I think that is it for now. I have to go force pills down the foster puppies throats. hopefully it will help them look a bit less like burn victims. Have a good weekend!

Mr. Brain, please stop poking my eyeball.

I have been unable to really sit down and write out what I wanted to put on here yet. You see, I have had a headache for about a week now. My theory is that the knot on the base of my skull is pushing my brain. Mr. Brain does not like to be pushed around. He kind of has a god complex (Oooh look at me! I can make you feel all itchy when you are stressed out! Try to sleep through that! Mwahahaha!), and the slightest little things tick him off. So, to make himself feel tough, my brain has taken to poking my right eyeball in the back, the big bully. And Mr. Brain has very pokey, um... pokers. So I am not feeling that great.

If I was smart, I would go and get a massage to loosen up the knot, and make Mr. Brain happy again. But, I am not smart, and we are on the Dave Ramsey total money makeover, so massage is not an option. Hopefully, in the next day or two, I can do something about my head, and get into what this blog will really be about. But until then, I thought I would share a picture of one of my favorite things, which in a sense kind of IS what I want this blog to be about, so enjoy. 

Dublin Dr. Pepper

mmmmmm.....

Getting Started...

Have you ever had a moment when an obvious realization that you have been desperately trying to avoid hits you straight between the eyes? Well, last week it happened to me. I was getting ready for bed, when suddenly it hit me. I have gotten really REALLY boring. And fat!!! When the hell did that happen?!

As the only human being I speak to over the age of two, I bombarded my husband with these questions.
Looking shell shocked at my sudden interrogation, he answered, "I don't know. But I don't think you are fat. Or boring! I think you are pretty and fun! Please stop asking me these questions! Why are you looking at me like that?! It scares me when your eyes get all googly like that!" (I suppose I should tell you now that my 'passion' sometimes 'overwhelms' my husband (and what I call passion, he would call insanity, and what he calls overwhelmed, I called frightened).)

Soooo, I came to a conclusion. Starting now, I am going to do things that do not involve toddlers or husbands. But first, I have got to shrink this enormous growth called my ass. I am hoping to use this blog as my motivation. My accountability, if you will. 
Well, that is it for now, because honestly, I have no clue what to write here. Maybe tonight I can think of something, and I will hit back tomorrow.
Thanks for listening!